


To Be So Lucky

by KananOrgana



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 14:15:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,573
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22198438
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KananOrgana/pseuds/KananOrgana
Summary: After his rescue from Mustafar, Kanan's in pretty bad shape. Hera takes it upon herself to oversee his recovery and decides she may be wrong, after all.
Relationships: Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla
Comments: 2
Kudos: 38





	To Be So Lucky

**Author's Note:**

> Immediately follows 1.15 Fire Across the Galaxy.

“What do you want for breakfast, Love?” Hera asked, brushing a few stray strands of hair out of Kanan’s face. The man frowned slightly, knitting his brows together. 

“Hera, I am saying this with the utmost respect for you, but you can’t cook.” Kanan said slowly, and Hera couldn’t quite tell if his voice was dripping with caution or stifling laughter. His emotional regulation since his return to Mustafar had been...off, to say the least. That, mixed with his physical injuries and his constant nightmares had made for a very stressful few days.

“I was going to ask Zeb to make you something. We’ve all dealt with enough lately and I really don’t want to end up with a fire in the kitchen.” Hera shrugged. Kanan was surprised that she hadn’t so much as thrown him a look for his comment, rather it seemed like she’d been trying to hold back a smile. Not that he would’ve cared either way—he was alive, Hera was there and taking care of him around the clock. She only ever left his side to bring him food or to go to the refresher. She’d even been reading to him! He was able to just lay back and listen to the voice he’d fallen for the first time he heard it and honestly, he felt on top of the world. Well, despite having been tortured extensively for three weeks. But that didn’t even matter to him anymore. He’d seen hell and could now, without a doubt, say he was in heaven.

“Kanan? You in there?” Hera asked, gently placing her hand on his knee. “Kinda spacing out.”

“Oh, yeah, sorry. Food would be good. Would you...do you want to watch a holovid when you get back?” He asked slowly. 

“As long as it isn’t one of those stupid ones where the people do stupid stunts and get hurt.” She flashed him a smile before slipping through the door. Kanan exhaled slowly. He absolutely loved having her around him all the time. He’d never been happier. But he’d constantly found himself fighting the urge to kiss her or hold her hand or well, anything. And Hera had been extremely clear over the years when it came to feelings and despite wishing things were different—way different—he accepted it because he was perfectly happy just being in her presence, no matter how much he wanted more.

Hera returned with two cups of caf balanced on a plate piled high with waffles after a few minutes.

“We’re sharing the waffles, I just didn’t want to try and balance two plates with all of this, so don’t get any ideas, flyboy.”

Kanan chuckled and took a sip of caf—nope, wrong cup, that one was almost pure sweetener. “I don’t understand why you ruin perfectly good caf with all of that.”

“To each their own, Kanan.” Hera said, pulling up a holovid she’d seen a few times. Kanan didn’t seem to pay much attention and she knew he didn’t really care much about what they watched. Besides, Hera usually had good taste and he trusted her opinion.

They sat in silence for a while, save for the sound of their forks scraping the plate. Not long after they’d finished eating, Kanan began to sense a great deal of discomfort coming from Hera. Was it something he’d done?

“I know I said I didn’t want to do things this way and I know I definitely shouldn’t do things this way but...” her voice trailed off before she could finish the thought. She frowned, propping her chin up on her arm. “Kanan, I can’t live like this anymore. I can’t have you going on these missions and getting captured and tortured and I can’t almost lose you without you knowing.” Her voice broke. 

“Knowing what?” He asked softly, carefully placing a hand over hers. She had tears welling up in her eyes and her chin started trembling and he felt awful. He was glad that she was opening up to him, because that rarely ever happened, but at the same time he hated it because he hadn’t had much experience with calming her down from such a state. 

A few moments passed so Kanan sat up straighter, scooted closer to the end of the bunk so that he could properly face Hera. 

“Hey.” He cupped her cheek and searched her eyes for something, anything. She put her hand over his and leaned into it and couldn’t help but let out a little smile. “Talk to me, Hera.”

Except now, Hera didn’t want to talk. Or maybe she still didn’t have the words. She didn’t know and at this point she didn’t really care. She looked into his cloudy, still-tired eyes, inhaled sharply, then quickly leaned forward to kiss him. He immediately tensed up but Hera threw an arm behind his neck and he relaxed into her. She couldn’t help but smile even as her tears finally spilled over. She felt Kanan grin when he stroked her cheek with his thumb and then they broke apart, both falling into fits of laughter. 

“While that was quite nice, it doesn’t tell me what I ‘need to know’.” Kanan said with a shrug.

“Yes it does, asshole.” Hera rolled her eyes. 

“No, see, one could argue I suffered quite a bit of brain damage lately so I’m a little fuzzy and out of it and I think I need things spelled out so that I can understand them.” He said innocently, biting back a shit-eating grin. 

“You’re a pain in the ass, you know that?” 

“I may have been told that once or twice.”

“Once or twice a day from me alone.” Hera corrected. Kanan laughed loudly at that one. 

“That would definitely explain why I enjoy being called a pain in the ass so much.” He stroked his beard thoughtfully. 

“Kanan, I...” Hera closed her eyes and bit her lip hard. “I don’t want you to go out and risk your life not knowing how I feel about you. We almost lost you and had no idea if you’d ever come back and knowing I never told you was killing me. I thought you were going to die not knowing that,” Hera took a deep breath, “not knowing that I love you.”

Kanan’s jaw dropped. He’d expected something along the lines of Hera maybe, perhaps being smitten with his devilish good looks and charm. That alone would’ve made him ecstatic, but she’d said she loved him and he was in too much shock to respond with a smartass comment. 

“You...love me?” He said slowly. “Wait, are you sure?”

Hera laughed and it was music to Kanan’s ears. She loved him and she told him and she wasn’t backing down. Hera lived him. 

“I...I mean you know how I feel, hell, everybody kinda knows that, and I-I can honestly say this is not what I thought was gonna happen, I figured you were just g-gonna say that maybe you tolerate me a little more now or—“

“Kanan Jarrus, are you stuttering and rambling? That’s not like you.” Hera laughed again, scooting into the bunk and up against the nervous wreck she’d made of Kanan. 

He shook his head and pinched the bridge of his nose. He and Hera had been physical before but she’d always said that feelings were never going to happen and that if they did become a problem—meaning his existing feelings—then things would go back to strictly professional. She mentioned it at least once a week. The months leading to his capture, she’d been laying off on the remarks, but Kanan knew it still hung in the air. And now she loved him?

“Is—is this a joke?” He pushed his hair out of his face. “Or am I imagining this?” He wasn’t trying to be funny and Hera knew it. He was actually in a great amount of distress and Hera immediately felt bad. Maybe if she were better with her words and expressing herself, this wouldn’t have happened...

“No, Kanan. This is real. It’s all me. I’ve felt like this for a long time but I was in denial because I was afraid. I didn’t want to jump into something only to have the Empire do something to one of us...I didn’t want them to use me as leverage over you.” But that’s exactly what they’d done. “But when you were gone I realized I was even more afraid of something happening to one of us and not knowing how we feel about each other.” 

Kanan’s smile was back. He let his head fall against the wall and let out a deep laugh. He shook his head, still smiling, and pulled Hera in for another kiss. She began to relax and Kanan realized just how tense she’d been. And it made sense, really. Hera had never been a feelings person and she never really talked about emotions or anything like that, either. Kanan knew she also hated being wrong, though if he were to ask her, she’d claim she was never wrong, of course. 

“Thank you.” He said softly, pressing his forehead to hers. 

“I tell you I love you and you respond with ‘thank you’? I’m not great with all of this but I don’t think that’s quite how it works.” Hera grinned, playfully punching his arm. 

“I love you, too, Hera.”


End file.
